it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
