do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
