i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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