omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
