I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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