STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
