She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
