do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize