Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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