When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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