just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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