I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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