You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
