My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
