i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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