I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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