I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
