I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
