Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
