Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
