Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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