I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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