he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
