so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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