he shaved USA in his pubs
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
