I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
