Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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