Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
