so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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