I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
