I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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