like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
