can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He passed out mid-signature
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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