I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
