Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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