Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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