It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
