I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
