If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
