How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
