Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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