well I can't set my house on fire every night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
