porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
