I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she looked like the before picture.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
