i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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