It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
