I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
