I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
