I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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