how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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