I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
BRING THE BAGELS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
