Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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