when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
